The Bible Doesn’t Say… “Everything Happens for a Reason”

Why Pain Isn’t Part of God’s Lesson Plan

Scriptures: Romans 8:26–30 & John 9:1–7 (CEB)

Inspired by Kate Bowler, Adam Hamilton, and all of us who’ve been handed pain wrapped in a

ribbon of theology

Meta Story:

A few months ago, I stood outside a hospital room with a grieving family. Their 3-month-old had

just passed away. One of the well-meaning relatives leaned in and whispered, “Everything

happens for a reason.”

I watched the mother nod quietly while her eyes screamed No it doesn’t.

It was that moment—the collision of hollow comfort and raw pain—that birthed this sermon.

Because there’s nothing quite like unearned theology to make grief feel even heavier.

When Words Fail

Romans 8:26–27 (CEB)

“In the same way, the Spirit comes to help our weakness. We don’t know what we

should pray, but the Spirit himself pleads our case with unexpressed groans.”

There are moments when words just don’t cut it.

The diagnosis.

The casket that’s too small.

The marriage ending.

The child who won’t get out of bed.

The church that slammed the door on you because of who you love.

And sometimes the only prayer left is a groan—a full-body, can’t-translate-it, too-deep-for-

Hallmark kind of groan.

And the Good News?

Paul tells us the Spirit groans with us.

Discussion Question:

What shifts in your faith when you imagine God not speaking in your pain—but

groaning with you in it?

The Lie We Love: “Everything Happens for a Reason”

Author and theologian Kate Bowler calls it a lie she once loved. And yeah—I used to love it too.

It makes the world feel manageable. Predictable. Like God is in control of everything down to

your parking tickets.

But here’s the thing:

If everything happens for a reason, then that means God planned your heartbreak.

That God caused your miscarriage.

That God wrote your trauma.

And if that’s true... then I don’t want that God.

Because that God feels more like a tyrant than a healer.

But the God of the Gospel?

That God groans with you.

That God gets dirty.

That God refuses to waste pain, even if God never wanted you to carry it in the first place.

Romans 8:28 (CEB)

“We know that God works all things together for good for the ones who love

God…”

Notice it doesn’t say God causes all things.

It says God works with them.

Like a potter with broken clay.

Like an artist using tears for watercolor.

Discussion Question:

When have you felt pressured to find a “reason” for your suffering? How did that

impact your view of God?

The Old Game: Who Sinned?

John 9:1–2 (CEB)

“As Jesus walked along, he saw a man who was blind from birth. His disciples

asked, ‘Rabbi, who sinned—this man or his parents?’”

Classic shame-based religion.

If something’s broken, someone must be to blame.

It’s the lie that says:

“If you’re sick, it’s your fault.”

“If you’re queer, you’re defective.”

“If you’re struggling, God must be disciplining you.”

Jesus doesn’t play that game.

John 9:3 (CEB)

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned. This happened so that God’s works might

be revealed in him.”

He’s not saying blindness was the plan.

He’s saying: God is already doing something beautiful here—if you stop looking for

someone to blame.

And how does Jesus heal him?

Not with words.

Not with a gentle touch.

But with spit.

With mud.

With mess.

This isn’t a sanitized Savior.

This is a God with dirt under their fingernails.

A God willing to use whatever you’ve got—your grief, your anger, your questions—to create

something new.

Discussion Question:

What if the very thing you’re ashamed of is the exact soil God is using to grow

something holy?

Groaning as Worship

Romans 8 says creation groans.

The Spirit groans.

We groan.

Maybe that’s what real church is:

Not a place to perform.

But a place to groan together.

Because groaning is not weakness.

It’s worship.

It’s lament.

It’s liturgy in a language deeper than words.

So, No… the Bible Doesn’t Say That

The Bible does not say:

● “Everything happens for a reason.”

● “God won’t give you more than you can handle.”

● “If you’re suffering, you must have sinned.”

That’s Christian Hallmark theology, and it crumbles in the ICU, the therapist’s chair, or the

funeral home.

What Scripture does say:

● The Spirit pleads your case with groans.

● Jesus rejects blame and shame.

● God shows up in the dirt.

● Nothing—not trauma, not depression, not queerness, not despair—can separate you

from God’s love.

Final Word: God Groans Too

So if you’re groaning today—good.

Let it out.

It might be your truest prayer.

God isn’t pulling cosmic strings from some heavenly war room.

God is right here.

Mud on hands.

Tears in eyes.

Spirit sighing so deep you can’t even name it.

That’s not a reason.

It’s not a lesson.

It’s not even an answer.

But it is God.

And that, my friends, is enough.

Amen. And thanks be to God.

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